Keeping a Secret – You Cheated

Keeping a Secret – You Cheated

You Cheated – He Doesn’t Know – Is It Over Anyway?

If you cheated and he doesn’t know, you may be feeling a mixture of emotions.  You have a big secret that would really hurt him if he ever found out.  You’ve thought about telling him, but you’re scared he’ll leave you.  Although you think you’re dodging a bullet by keeping it inside, holding a big secret like this might end up ruining your relationship anyway.  Here’s why:

  1. Insecurity

You cheated –You are the guilty party.  Knowing that you have gotten away with something like this will make you wonder what he has done that you don’t know about.  You may begin to question where he’s going, what he’s doing, who he’s seeing.  Nothing he is doing has changed – but you suddenly start accusing him of suspicious behaviour.  This will drive him crazy.


  1. Self-Worth

You cheated. You know that -he doesn’t.  Knowing what you did while he is oblivious is not going to make you feel good.  He writes you love letters and brings you flowers and all you can think is ‘I don’t deserve this’.  He doesn’t understand and.  On the outside, he sees an ungrateful woman.  He is trying his best for you and is getting a sad smile in return.  You can be sure he won’t put up with it for long.

  1. Anxiety

You cheated.  He doesn’t know – YET.  Holding a secret of this calibre and knowing what you might lose if your man ever found out is going to cause a lot of anxiety for you.  If he comes home from work in a bad mood – you will think he found out.  If gets a phone call and he seems aggravated – you think he found out.  Is it worth living like this?  Stressing out every time he isn’t wearing a perfect Colgate ad smile?

  1. He Might Find Out

Just because he doesn’t know right now, doesn’t mean he won’t find out.  And then what?  Will it be easier to tell him now, when you can pick the time, place and manner in which he finds out?  Or is it better for him to find out one day from someone he barely knows?

It is not easy to tell someone you cheated.  It is not easy to keep such a huge secret from them either.  If you choose not to tell, just be careful you don’t end up ruining the relationship anyway.

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