You Cheated – He Doesn’t Know – Is It Over Anyway?
If you cheated and he doesn’t know, you may be feeling a mixture of emotions. You have a big secret that would really hurt him if he ever found out. You’ve thought about telling him, but you’re scared he’ll leave you. Although you think you’re dodging a bullet by keeping it inside, holding a big secret like this might end up ruining your relationship anyway. Here’s why:
You cheated –You are the guilty party. Knowing that you have gotten away with something like this will make you wonder what he has done that you don’t know about. You may begin to question where he’s going, what he’s doing, who he’s seeing. Nothing he is doing has changed – but you suddenly start accusing him of suspicious behaviour. This will drive him crazy.
You cheated. You know that -he doesn’t. Knowing what you did while he is oblivious is not going to make you feel good. He writes you love letters and brings you flowers and all you can think is ‘I don’t deserve this’. He doesn’t understand and. On the outside, he sees an ungrateful woman. He is trying his best for you and is getting a sad smile in return. You can be sure he won’t put up with it for long.
You cheated. He doesn’t know – YET. Holding a secret of this calibre and knowing what you might lose if your man ever found out is going to cause a lot of anxiety for you. If he comes home from work in a bad mood – you will think he found out. If gets a phone call and he seems aggravated – you think he found out. Is it worth living like this? Stressing out every time he isn’t wearing a perfect Colgate ad smile?
He Might Find Out
Just because he doesn’t know right now, doesn’t mean he won’t find out. And then what? Will it be easier to tell him now, when you can pick the time, place and manner in which he finds out? Or is it better for him to find out one day from someone he barely knows?
It is not easy to tell someone you cheated. It is not easy to keep such a huge secret from them either. If you choose not to tell, just be careful you don’t end up ruining the relationship anyway.
Women’s instincts are usually pretty good. If you think that your man is cheating on you, you may have reason to believe that – and you might be right. However, although you may have good intuition about these things, the only way to know for sure (not like he’s going to admit it if you ask him) is to do a little detective work and find out for certain. Here are some tips to finding out if your man really is cheating on you:
If you suspect your man is cheating – don’t let him know. If you’re constantly asking him questions that show you’re suspicious, his guard will go up and he will be extremely focused on ensuring he never slips up on anything he says. If he thinks that you are clueless, that you still have complete trust in him, you may be able to find out more information. He may not delete the phone messages right away, or perhaps he will say something that contradicts himself. Until you have solid proof, act like nothing is out of the ordinary.
Don’t Check His Email
Or rather – DO check his email – but only if he wasn’t the one to give you his password. If your man has voluntarily given up his email passwords to you, it’s quite obvious he won’t be emailing anyone (from that account) that you shouldn’t know about. If you don’t have the password, try to catch him while he’s typing it in. It may take a few tries to figure it out, but once you’ve got it, you’ve got access to his private emails. Just remember – if you see anything else in there you may not like (ie. Some porn site he is a member of that you think is disgusting) – you’re breaking his trust by going into his email in the first place. Make sure you’re ready for the consequences of what you’re doing.
The easiest way to catch your man in a lie is to be a really good listener. Make note of the details he tells you about where he was. Feign interest in what he was doing by asking questions. Remember what he says. In a few days, ask him similar questions about that same event. Major details of an event shouldn’t change – so if he give you different answers today – something is up. Look for some evidence of him being where he said.